Chapter 3: Getting in Touch Again
Synopsis
Now that you have discovered where things went wrong and made changes to the things you could about yourself it is time to move on to the next step. It is now time to begin trying to get back in touch with your ex. You need to understand that it is extremely important that you are careful about how you approach this step in the process of winning back your ex because if it is not done correctly it can completely backfire. The last thing you want is to push your ex away even further and make all of the work you have done so far to try to win them back a complete waste.
The following chapter will provide you with some tips that you should seriously consider before trying to get back into contact with your ex. Remember, this step may take a while and it is important that you are not pushy. Let love work its magic and take your time, the reward will be well worth the wait when you have your ex in your arms once again.
Contact Your Ex
As mentioned before, it is now time that you should begin trying to contact your ex. This may be difficult for you to do and you may be scared to try and fix things because of fear of rejection. You need to keep in mind the fact that you will never get your ex back if you do not ever talk to them. It is time that you swallow your pride and reach out to them and let them know that you want to rekindle the spark you once had.
It is important that you go about this step in the right way. The following are eight simple to follow steps that will help you through this process and ensure that you have the best possible outcome.
- Make The First Move: If you are serious about trying to get back with your ex it is important that you make the first move. In reality, you have no idea if your ex plans on ever contacting you again or ever trying to fix things between the two of you. That is why you must contact them first. It is important that you do not contact them before you are ready however because this will surely lead to undesired results. If your ex does not seem like they want to speak to you right away it is a good idea for you to give them some time and try again.
- Don’t Have Unrealistic Expectations: It is important when you contact your ex that you do not have unrealistic expectations of how the conversation will go. You should not expect to hear them say that everything is ok and that everything will go back to how it was immediately. These are completely unrealistic expectations because your ex is probably just as hurt as you are over the breakup. Things are going to take time to get better and you have to give your ex the time they need to heal as well. Basically, you need to understand that your relationship is basically starting over.
- Have A Good Attitude: It is important that you are optimistic when contacting your ex. You do not want to fill your head with negative thoughts because they will surely get in the way of you rekindling your love with your ex. Have positive thoughts and believe in your heart that everything will work out and you will have a much better chance of succeeding.
- Don’t Over Do It: When contacting your ex and trying to fix your relationship you do not want to seem needy or bug your ex with a hundred phone calls throughout the day. As mentioned before, this is a process that is going to take time. Your ex will likely want a little bit of space at first. It is advised that you are proportional with the frequency of your calls.
- Control Your Emotions: Before you even try to contact your ex it is important that you make sure that you have complete control of your emotions. You need to keep in mind that your ex may have some things to say that may be hard for you to hear. You need to be in an emotional state that will allow you to deal with this conversation in a productive manner. Getting angry or upset when you contact your ex is a sure way of making sure you do not get back together.
- Steer Clear Of The Past: It is important that you do not continuously revert your conversations back to the past. You need to discuss your issues in order to be able to fix them but you may want to wait a while before doing this. If you do discuss your issues in the past it is important that your statements are very well thought out and that you do not dwell in the past. Focus on the future and make it clear that you have the best of intentions for your relationship now. Describe to your ex the changes you have made and the person you plan on being now as well as the life that you can provide for them.
- Don’t Rush Them: You should never rush or try to persuade your ex into getting back with you or coming back home. You need to let them decide when they are ready. You may want to bring the question up on if they think it would be a good idea but if they are not sure give them time and do not rush them.
- Be Strong: You cannot give up to quickly when you are trying to contract your ex. If they do not want to speak to you at first do not give up but at the same time do not become a stalker. Your ex will surely appreciate your persistence and it will make them feel like they are worth something to you. Give them time and they will be sure to give you a chance.
- Once you have contacted your ex and everything is going smoothly for a while it is time to try and arrange a face to face meeting. It is advised that you do not try and make the meeting somewhere private like at either of your houses. It is better that the meeting be in a public place like a coffee shop or a diner. This will make things more comfortable for both of you.
- Make sure that you demonstrate the new you to your ex when you meet with them. Show them that you have done everything you can to acknowledge the needs and wants that were not met in the previous attempt at your relationship. The fact that you are trying will surely be noticed by your ex and will be much appreciated. It is important that just as on the phone you do not appear needy when you meet with your ex. Do not beg them to come back. Make it clear that you understand that things will take time and that you are willing to put forth the effort.
- Chapter 1: Recover From a Broken Heart
- Chapter 2: Understand What Went Wrong
- Chapter 3: Getting in Touch Again
- Chapter 4: Improve Communications
- Chapter 5: The Happy Reunion
