You should know the details about when your ex-spouse was unable to pick up or drop off your kids, when you had the kids, and the events you attended. Be flexible to allow room for adjustments. Manage your schedule so that you won t have a hard time adjusting when your ex-spouse wants to switch weekdays or weekends to spend with your children. Likewise, he or she should convince the judge that the change is better for the child. Child s interest As always, the child s best interest is the starting guideline or standard in all child custody determinations. There are many factors to consider, and state child custody laws are not the same on all states. The following are some common questions asked by people who are not quite in the know. The answers are collated responses from some child custody lawyers. Child custody laws are not the same in all the states in the U.S. The following answers are mostly in general terms inasmuch as they apply and/or recognized by the courts all over the country. It would require so much self-assessment as well as constant reflection over one's self, on his or her environment, the people that surround him or her and the overall condition of life that he or she is in. Experts say that once each of these has been thoroughly assessed, it will be easier to pave the way for continuous self-motivation. Nowadays, some lawyers argue that a mother denying the unmarried father access to the child may not be in the best interest of the child. This position would require explanation, and could be used against the mother if the custody is disputed. An unmarried father would need to first establish his paternity (either by a signed voluntary declaration, or by filing a paternity action) before he can gain rights of access and responsibilities to his child or children. If you failed to get sole custody and if, for some reasons, you missed paying child support, these are not enough reasons for you to be deprived of your custody rights over your child. Remember, you do not pay a fee for seeing your child. But, if you have caused harm to your child or to your ex-spouse, chances are you will lose your custody rights permanently.