Experts say that in order to overcome the ill feelings of losing a child custody case, one needs motivation. This is because when people are motivated, they become more aggressive in achieving their goals and dreams in life despite painful experiences. Studies also show that though motivation from other people helps a lot, it is best if one starts with motivating him or herself. The child must be legally competent to testify in court, meaning he or she understands what the child custody hearings are all about and knows the difference between truth and lies. When a child testifies in court, the judge does not directly ask the child if he or she would want to live with the father or the mother. (TIP: Get a copy from Sourcebooks as well as in Nolo Press that regularly publish state-specific books and also visit Findlaw.com if you need more and updated pieces of information regarding the child custody laws of the state that you belong to.) Aside from reading books and visiting online sites that offer free information on child custody cases, it would be advisable to talk to somebody an immediate family member, a friend or a neighbor who went through the same things. The following are some common questions asked by people who are not quite in the know. The answers are collated responses from some child custody lawyers. Child custody laws are not the same in all the states in the U.S. The following answers are mostly in general terms inasmuch as they apply and/or recognized by the courts all over the country. Here, you can get as much information that you need to help you gain better understanding on matters that will make or break a child s life. Aside from the Internet, you can also read a lot of parenting magazines where there are feature stories on legal issues that concerns any family such as child custody. A number of parents opt to have a lawyer to represent them during the court hearing. On the other hand, others opt to represent themselves. If you are well-versed about the laws in your state involving custody of a child, then you may choose not to hire a lawyer. On the contrary, you need a lawyer if you are not familiar with the state laws governing your case.