Chapter 9: The A-Z marriage secrets and tips
Synopsis
Here are the A-Z marriage secrets and tips for a successful marriage for newly-weds.
Tips
Advice
Offering advice to your partner in times of stress or problems is a great way to make the marriage really work. Often, they won’t take out their problems on you. Instead, they’ll feel the need to open their heart and talk about the problems. If you can offer your spouse advice, they’ll be grateful that they are with you. Don’t know how to give advice? No problem. You can always give them a backrub and just hold them. Ask them more questions about the issue to make it look like you are really interested in the problems they are going through. Most men don’t want to hear every detail of their spouse’s day. A few details are fine but when you over-do it, they can become overwhelmed and won’t know what to say.
Devotion
Being devoted to your partner means seeing them on a regular basis, making date nights happen, and spending time no matter how busy you are. If you have a small window to be with them on your day off, then go for it! If your love is in the hospital and hasn’t been able to walk for a month, visit them often. Bring him/her flowers and tell them how much you love them. Showing your devotion will have them realize how much you care for them and they’ll develop a strong bond with you. These types of relationships will blossom into something more and they tend to last for years at a time.
Honesty
If you are someone who is already honest, this may come easy for you. Did you have a wild party at home and all your buddies decided it would be funny to draw on your white wall? You had no idea this had happened, even when you got home. Your husband told you that your son was the one who drew on the walls. However, your son was at the party and taking pictures on his toy camera. Keep in mind, this camera actually processes films for kids. After finding all the pictures, you feel disappointed in what your husband did. As you can see here, being honest causes less problems in the relationship – even if it was your fault. If you cannot trust someone in the relationship, you will always be second guessing their actions in your mind. This is obviously not very healthy for you or your partner. You don’t want to accuse them of doing something wrong. Maybe they never did anything wrong and you are the one who owes them the apology. See what happens when honesty isn’t within the relationship? It just makes it worse.
Intimacy
Did you know that intimacy and love goes together? While some woman might not think this, men will consider intimacy in the bed as a form of love. They believe it is sexually healing. Most men become closer to their wives after making love. Also, for woman, foreplay is extremely important. Men need to know this too. If you rush this with your wife, she may feel that you do not love or appreciate her body. Take your time and have fun. You’ll enjoy the experience more.
Laughter
Laughing with your partner is fun and even invites you both to “play” together. Remember the time when you pushed your partner in the pool when he was wearing all his clothes? He wasn’t happy at the time but the both of you laughed about it later. The pictures you took of him with his shocked expression while falling as simply hilarious. He couldn’t help but laugh at everything that had happened. Giving each other tickles and even making fun of one another is always a great way to put a smile on your face. Every time the two of you laugh, you are creating memories that will last a lifetime. By laughing, you are pushing away anything in your life that is bad. Laughter is a form of healing as well.
Parenting
Being a good parent to your children is very important. The way you treat your children also affects your spouse. If you are a mother who is very stressed because your kids do not listen to you, there is a good chance you yell at the kids every once and awhile. Your husband frowns upon this as he is a very calm and understanding man. Try to analyze to see what he does when the kids are acting up. Learn from him or learn from books on parenting. The way you parent your children will affect them for the rest of your life and believe it or not – you affect those around you in a chain reaction.
Wrapping Up
The permanent solutions for marriage problems
In order to find permanent solutions for your marriage, you will need to start doing some problem solving. There should be a solution for every problem in marriage such as money issues, infidelity, parenting issues and so forth. Here are some permanent solutions to help you survive the marriage:
Concentrate on yourself
Believe it or not but this tactic works. Ask your partner what aggravates them when it comes to you and work on that attribute of yourself. If he/she say’s you are too bossy, try calming down. Do some mind clearing exercises and learn how to do things on your own. By doing this, you are setting yourself up for a better relationship. You won’t rely on what he/she does and can get most of the stuff done.
Don’t expect too much
When you expect too much from your spouse, they will become miserable in the relationship. It is possible they will feel resentful toward you and this may result in infidelity, arguments, or you they might even move away from you slowly.
Speak with a counselor
Talking to a counselor is better than arguing over the smallest problems. Each side can be heard and you won’t have to worry about this type of communication blowing up into an argument. The counselor will be able to go over some of the progress are gaining as a couple and things may get better then they were before.
- Chapter 1: Introduction
- Chapter 2: Survival and marriage
- Chapter 3: Difficulties of the first marriage
- Chapter 4: The possible solutions to the marriage problems
- Chapter 5: The types of education for early marriages
- Chapter 6: The basic soft skills for newly married couples
- Chapter 7: The hard skills that are needed by the newly married couples
- Chapter 8: The benefits of marriage survival
- Chapter 9: The A-Z marriage secrets and tips / Wrapping Up: The permanent solutions for marriage problems
