Where To Begin Start by finding out how much money comes in for a period of time that can be used on bills and other living expenses. For example, if you earn $200 a week and your spouse earns $200 a week, after taxes, insurance, 401K, etc. then that is what you have to work with each week. Using the amount of money you bring home will relieve a great deal of stress in your marriage. A marriage can be difficult when both partners are willing to work things out together, as a team, but when you must tow the car across the road while a passenger sits relaxing inside listening to the radio, you begin to doubt the relationship altogether. There is something you can do when your marriage needs help and your spouse refuses to take the steps to seek marriage help right along with you. One of the biggest reasons for marriage help is lack of communication between marriage partners. Avoid marriage counseling and other necessary help by taking the time to communicate with your loved one. A trip to dinner may give you the opportunity to chat about what is going on in each other's life away from home. Help your marriage by allowing yourselves time to grieve and time to have fun. If you can, speak to a religious professional about the loss of your child. Clergy is typically trained to give counsel about grief and marriage help. Marriage help can even be found through your doctor. He or she can explain to your partner the specifics of the situation. Your local Job and Family Services office can more than likely direct you to specific groups or organizations in your area that deal with family issues and marriage help. If your marriage is suffering due to a specific illness in the family, for example, the Job and Family Services office may be able to direct you and your spouse to a support group. Laws vary greatly from place to place. Legal advice from your lawyer hired for the custody situation is always the best resource in such a matter. When a custody case goes to court, the judge is looking out for the best interest of the child. He or she will be taking into account the child's age and needs.