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"Blue Defends Blue" in Florida Tragedies
by: Susan Murphy-Milano
BLUE DEFENDS BLUE"

Susan Murphy-Milano, Daughter of Chicago Police Detective Philip Murphy who murdered her mother Roberta Murphy, in 1989, before taking his own life speaks out on this tragedy in Flordia on 10/11/05. It does not matter in what city or state this took place, the fact still remains that blue still defends blue. The spokesperson for the Orange County Florida sherriff's department Barbara Miller responded "Not only when you have a deputy who has died, but when you see two small inncocent children, it's very disconcerning and disheartening to the officers" Well, the officers responded to at least 5 calls for help from estranged wife Leigh Ann to this home in the past month. The Lautenberg Act of 1998 was put into law so that tragedies just like this do not happen. Clearly this Officers actions goes far beyond the deaths of two innocent children. It was his way of having the last act of control because Leigh Ann, who he thought no differently of then a possession was going to pay for leaving him. As you are reading this you can bet that officers across the country are telling their spouses "See What happened" or police wives are seeing the news headlines fearing if they leave, they too, will be killed. Throughtout my entire childhood I heard my father say "If you leave, I will find you, If I find you, I will kill you. Then Sheriff Kevin Beary stated "I wish I had all the answers on something like that". It's called accountability and doing the job you were sworn as officers to serve and protect. It does not mean looking the other way when it's one of your own. It is the Orange County Sheriff department who should be charged for the crime of not responding and doing their job and as the law requires. This is a perfect example of the lack of accountability. The events of this tragedy are clearly off balance. Why doesn't someone charge the Sheriff Department with murder?
Police Departments across the country need to get their act together by being more accountable to the other members of police families.
How, first when any Officer going through a marriage break-up, there should be an automatic red flag to the department. The end of a police relationship should be treated the same as an officer involved in a street shooting. In these cases the department pulls the officer from active duty, usually assigning him time off or desk duty until he is given clearance by the police board after a review and mandatory counseling. The spouses should also be brought in for a debriefing of sorts explaining what safety measures, tactics and a telephone number for assistance and what she can expect should events escalate. I am reminded of when I was in the 5th grade, I teacher gave us an assignment to write a poem about something in our lives, I wrote

This man who drinks and carries a gun,
each night he'd come home, we would have no fun.

That bottle, that gun,
there is no place to run.

The laws pertaining to Family Violence, who not signed by elected officials with a pen of ink, but a pen of blood for all those who died because the system turned a deaf ear.

Susan Murphy-Milano author of "Defending Our Lives" (doubleday) and "Moving Out, Moving On"

website-www.movingoutmovingon.com
Email Contact: Kindlivingpress@aol.com



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 Putting Romance Back Into Your Marriage
 by: Mark McAuley

Let me start by saying I am not a psycholigist or therapist, I am just a guy, who was married for 16 years, until that ended about a year and a half ago. I am now in a new and exciting relationship, which I believe will work out great. I am forty years old and just speaking from experience. Hopefully these tips I give you will spice up your love life again.

Often times in a marriage or long-term relationship, couples tend to fall into a routine. What maybe started out as a very romantic relationship, begins to slow down as bills, children, work and all the pressures of life conspire to give us stress and lead us away from what is really important.

I would venture to guess that most divorces stem from this problem. You see each other As a business partner, parenting partner, chore partner. But not so much as a lover. You have to drive the kids here and there, while your partner is getting the groceries. There is always something to do,and it usually does not include being alone with your partner.

Every once in a while you remember what it was like in the beginning, and think why can’t it be like that again. By the way, both sexes think this, the problem is they only think it, and usually don’t talk about it.

When the kids are small, I know it isn’t as easy to make time for each other, but the most important thing you can do for your marriage is to MAKE time. If that means getting grandma and grandpa to watch the kids overnight, or splurging on a babysitter once a week, it would be the best investment you could make in your marriage.

If you could get away with your partner for a date night once a week, you won’t regret it. Whether going out for dinner, or a movie, or a long walk together, it will bring the two of you closer together. Plus, getting away from the kids is a great stress reliever.

Then when you get back home, still with no kids around, a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, is with lingerie. It may sound cliché, but it really works. Think about it ladies, your partner sees you all week as a mom, housekeeper, breadwinner. The last thing he is thinking of you as, is a bedroom goddess. Believe me, if you come home after a nice night out, and you go upstairs and put on a beautiful piece of lingerie, a nice teddy, or corset, body stocking, or bustier, you’re partner will definitely be put into the mood.

It will make him see you as he used to see you. More than a mom, etc. After all, isn’t that what you want?

But, don’t stop there. A great way to spice things up is to try things you never tried before. That could be something as simple as bringing some food into the mix, you know strawberries, whip cream, things like that. Then, there is always the massage, everybody loves a massage with warm oil. Just the fact you are doing things differently will really help spice things up. We all know that we fall into a routine in the bedroom after a while. The only cure for that is to change things around.

So, hopefully this will help you to get back on the right track. Good luck. Visit my website at: http://www.purplemoose.us/lingerie.html


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