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Don't Give Away Your Power!
by: William Martin
Lets look at some ways we can get to know another person without giving our power away. This enables us to minimize the risk that we will get hurt in the process.

The other day, a lady asked me an interesting question. She said,
'Are you single?'. What I noticed about that is that it feels
like a very different question from 'Do you have girlfriend?'.

I also noticed that my respect for the person went up a notch
or two - even though I did not want to get into a romantic
relationship with her.

The reason for this is that asking 'Are you single?', has a
refreshing boldness about it without being pushy. Whereas the
"Do you have girlfriend / boyfriend?", question has a sort of
unspoken "you probably wouldn’t want me anyway" feeling about it.

At least in can drift into that if the person is not very careful
how they say it.

Like anything to do with personal power it "Ain’t what you do it's
the way that you do it". However, asking the right question is part of the way we do it.

One way we can make dating easier on ourselves is to change the
question so that we do ask people on 'dates' at all! What I mean is go for what some call "the no-date date". This is where we just
invite the person along to something we want to do anyway. It can be anything from a favorite café, a place which has the best cakes / donuts, or place with an unusual shop, or a particularly nice park and so on.

That way we can say something like, "I am going to a lovely park at the weekend. It has a beautiful path through the trees. Would you like to come?". (Or, whatever is suitable based on what you know about them). Invite them to do something fun or interesting, which does not take up too much time.

We are just inviting them along, so we spend time with them. It is not really clear to them whether it is an actual ‘date’ with
romantic intentions or not. We can get to know them a bit better
before we decide to go that way.

In this way we can avoid saying "Want to go out with me?", which
again just gives our power away. If they turn down a no-date offer next time you meet them you can even say, "Hey, you really missed out. That park / café / shop I told you about was great (and have something to say that reinforces this (weather was fabulous, they have the best coffee etc.)". This turns even a 'rejection' into something in your favor.

We can also invite someone we want to get to know to join in with
something we are doing with other friends. We don’t have to get
stuck in thinking we have to invite people out one-on-one.

You may wonder whether you will give the person the wrong
impression if you are interested in them, but not make it clear
from the start by specifically asking for a date. You actually
probably stand a better chance to get to know each other when
just relaxing without any pressure. However, your 'interest' will
probably be in who you think they are, rather than who they really are. Give yourself a chance to get to know them for real before deciding anything.

Besides better to find out early whether this is a person with whom you can just relax and have fun with. If the chemistry is right you will soon find yourself in real dates with them and you won't have had to give away your power to get there.


Author: William Martin is the founder of http://www.meetyourgreens.com a totally free dating site.




This article is free for republishing
Started writing in response to questions asked by members of the free dating site he runs.

 


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 Putting Romance Back Into Your Marriage
 by: Mark McAuley

Let me start by saying I am not a psycholigist or therapist, I am just a guy, who was married for 16 years, until that ended about a year and a half ago. I am now in a new and exciting relationship, which I believe will work out great. I am forty years old and just speaking from experience. Hopefully these tips I give you will spice up your love life again.

Often times in a marriage or long-term relationship, couples tend to fall into a routine. What maybe started out as a very romantic relationship, begins to slow down as bills, children, work and all the pressures of life conspire to give us stress and lead us away from what is really important.

I would venture to guess that most divorces stem from this problem. You see each other As a business partner, parenting partner, chore partner. But not so much as a lover. You have to drive the kids here and there, while your partner is getting the groceries. There is always something to do,and it usually does not include being alone with your partner.

Every once in a while you remember what it was like in the beginning, and think why can’t it be like that again. By the way, both sexes think this, the problem is they only think it, and usually don’t talk about it.

When the kids are small, I know it isn’t as easy to make time for each other, but the most important thing you can do for your marriage is to MAKE time. If that means getting grandma and grandpa to watch the kids overnight, or splurging on a babysitter once a week, it would be the best investment you could make in your marriage.

If you could get away with your partner for a date night once a week, you won’t regret it. Whether going out for dinner, or a movie, or a long walk together, it will bring the two of you closer together. Plus, getting away from the kids is a great stress reliever.

Then when you get back home, still with no kids around, a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, is with lingerie. It may sound cliché, but it really works. Think about it ladies, your partner sees you all week as a mom, housekeeper, breadwinner. The last thing he is thinking of you as, is a bedroom goddess. Believe me, if you come home after a nice night out, and you go upstairs and put on a beautiful piece of lingerie, a nice teddy, or corset, body stocking, or bustier, you’re partner will definitely be put into the mood.

It will make him see you as he used to see you. More than a mom, etc. After all, isn’t that what you want?

But, don’t stop there. A great way to spice things up is to try things you never tried before. That could be something as simple as bringing some food into the mix, you know strawberries, whip cream, things like that. Then, there is always the massage, everybody loves a massage with warm oil. Just the fact you are doing things differently will really help spice things up. We all know that we fall into a routine in the bedroom after a while. The only cure for that is to change things around.

So, hopefully this will help you to get back on the right track. Good luck. Visit my website at: http://www.purplemoose.us/lingerie.html


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