How would you describe the ideal girl of your dream?
“Oh, she has got to be beautiful with a nice figure, having a sweet and sexy voice, cheerful, gentle, considerate, kind-hearted, understanding, independent, musically inclined, share a common interest of mine, hmm… knows how to prepare nice food and… ”
Ok, that is enough. Now, do you think such a perfect person actually exists? Well maybe yes maybe not. But if everyone were to nevertheless, really have such a high expectations, love is certainly going to be hardly visible in the air. Don’t you think so too?
So, what makes an ideal partner then? Well before we go on, perhaps it might be good to know what an exact ideal partner are we discussing here? A dating partner or a marriage partner? Or has this question never even occurred to you before?
Ok, let us answer the question again separately. Hmm… maybe we shall get the girls to answer this time.
First question: How would you describe an ideal dating partner?
Common answers would include, “Dashing with a nice body, full of gentlemanliness, caring and considerate, having a good sense of humor, cheerful, fun loving, adventurous, full of fun and excitement, loves me dearly and etc”
Ok now the second question: How would you describe an ideal marriage partner?
Common answers would include, “Mature, got a sense of responsibility, cheerful, caring, understanding, honest, kind-hearted, having a financially stable income, knowledgeable, able to take good care of the family, loves me dearly and etc”
Notice the difference? An ideal dating partner and an ideal marriage partner is usually a very different person, perhaps just very a little in common I would say.
Well in a perfect case, an ideal partner should of course be best, both a dating and a marriage partner. Someone whom you enjoy dating, bringing you lots of fun, joy and excitements; at the same time someone whom is willing to share your problems and unhappiness, accepting all your negative habits and faults; committed to bringing you happiness.
But again, does such an ideal person exist? Can we really have both the pie and the cake? Think about it. Are we somehow setting too high an expectation? Unknowingly rejecting our chances? Losing the opportunity to be in love? Unknowingly bringing unhappiness to your relationship, yourself and your love? Hmm… well, do remember that we are afterall just talking about ideal here. Something, which is good to have, but not a must to have?
So before you are going to start complaining again that life is so unfair to you, ask yourself, “Have you really ever tried? Tried pursuing for happiness?”
Instead of always picking on your partner’s faults making life unhappy for both, have you tried looking at the other beautiful side of them, their beautiful qualities? Appreciating what you have already got? Tried improving on yourself instead, to becoming a better lover; a more ideal lover? Willing to open up yourself, giving both yourself and others a chance? Remember, what you expect of yours or your future partner is equally what he or she expects of you.
Going into a relationship is never a game. It is a long-term investment, an investment of love between the both of you. It is something which both have to genuinely think through and plan far. What would actually come after dating? Marriage is what I should suppose? Sharing the rest of your life, your future happiness with that special someone?
Well, if nothing were to go wrong in your relationship, your dating partner is eventually going to become your marriage partner, your life partner. Can I say so? Ok, to the girls, let me ask you a question. Would you share your happiness with someone that is full of fun and excitement to be with now, but deep down within yourself you know he is not going to be a good husband, someone who would not take good care of his family?
So again, what is your definition of an ideal partner? Someone whom truly love you, willing to share your problems and unhappiness or…? Well, the answer is within you. It has been with you all this while, only you can find the answer to this question. Your happiness belongs to you, nobody can decide for you. Be true to yourself, you should know what you really wants.
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The Power of Love -
Dating Smart
by: Jill Dellamalva
You don’t need to depend on fate to bring “The One” to your doorstep.
You might have to wait a very long time.
You don’t have to be the prettiest girl or the most handsome guy to be
a successful dater. You don’t need a huge bank account. You don’t have to
drive a new sports car, live in a large home, have the best sense of
humor, or the most confidence. These things are all desirable; but chances
are, they won’t keep the target of your affection around forever.
So what is it that you need to get and keep your love around? The
answer is simple.
Power.
Many people looking for relationships are searching for someone to
complete them, to fill in what is lacking in their own lives. A smart
dater pays attention to detail, determines what it is that the other
person is lacking, and ultimately provides it. A smart dater knows that
when you are a source of something another person needs to be happy, you
have power over them.
The first step to achieving power and becoming a smart dater is
assessing the personality of the person you want to be with. You must zone
in on the characteristic that defines the person most. Then, use your
observations about their personality to determine what the person needs in
his or her life to be happy. Finally, provide it.
Take, for example, the aggressive personality. If you’re in love with
The Aggressor, you know that he or she isn’t a bit shy. The Aggressor
knows what he or she is after, and thrives on the challenge of attaining
it. Love with The Aggressor can be compared to a sport, and The Aggressor
is looking to win. Like in any sport, an easy victory can be quite boring
and quick. Your task is to give the Aggressor a challenge. Do not let your
heart be an easy win. If you do, the Aggressor will simply move on to the
next person. When the Aggressor leaves you a voice mail to call them back,
forget to call. When the Aggressor asks you out for a date, once in a
while tell them that you are too busy. Be moody, selfish, and difficult
from time to time. Now, don’t be completely mean – remember, you must give
kindness and affection to The Aggressor as much as you take it away. This
will drive The Aggressor insane, and cause him or her to lose focus of the
game. In no time, you’ll be holding the trophy.
Perhaps your love interest is not The Aggressor. Perhaps he or she is
reserved and shy. This personality type tends to be innocent, and maybe
lacking in solid relationship experience. You job, then, is to initiate
The Quiet One into the realm of relationships and dating. Give The Quiet
One something to get excited about. Shower The Quiet One with frivolous
gifts and attention. Approach The Quiet One with zest, energy, and an
ultra-positive attitude about life. Essentially, bring The Quiet One out
of his or her shell, making them feel comfortable with you. In return, The
Quiet One will become almost dependant on you for fun, activity, and love.
There are a myriad of personality types you will find out in the world.
Another is The Snob. This person needs an average Joe or Jane to bring
them down to earth. They won’t want to stoop to the level of giving you a
second look – but be persistent. The Snob’s affection is earned. The more
affection you give, the more flattered The Snob will become. This is
because The Snob, by trait, likes to be given things. Instead of spoiling
the Snob with things he or she already has, provide something unique. Cook
The Snob romantic dinners at home, and skip the fancy restaurants. Pick
the female Snob wildflowers instead of buying traditional roses. The Snob
can then brag to other Snobs that he or she has someone “different” than
everyone else. And as you know, Snobs always like to have what everyone
else doesn’t.
There is also The Soap Opera Star. If you have the saintly qualities
needed to love The Soap Opera Star, more power to you. This person eats,
sleeps, and breathes drama. Take the normal ups and downs in life, and
multiply them by 1000. Such is the life of The Soap Opera Star. The Soap
Opera Star misplaces his golf club, and everything that happens from that
point on in the day is absolutely ruined. Don’t be surprised if The Soap
Opera Star takes his or her troubles out on you. If you desire to love
this gem, patience, understanding (even if you must pretend) and the
ability to console are qualities you have to put forth. The Soap Opera
Star will end up completely in love with you. If you decide to leave The
Soap Opera Star, he or she will stalk you.
Another popular personality is The Complainer. Everything annoys The
Complainer. You can tell The Complainer that he or she looks nice today,
and they will respond with a very serious, “Why do you have to lie to me?
I gained 5 pounds in the last week, my pants look too short, and I’m
having a bad hair day. I definitely know I can’t trust you to tell me the
truth.” If you truly love The Complainer, you will never take their words
to heart. You will also keep providing them with more topics to complain
about, like a drug supply to an addict. Bring up topics that you know they
love to moan about. They, in turn, will provide you with hours of
one-on-one conversation. You’d better have a good ear to listen, and be
able to support them in their outlandish claims. Don’t expect to do too
much talking yourself. The Complainer will love you to death. Literally.
All in all, no matter what type of person you are trying to win over,
you can do it with a little bit of common sense and consideration. Think
your way through the situation. That’s all it takes. The power of love is
in your hands.