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Family Journals: Tens Ways to Improve Your Health and Relationships
by: Ron Huxley
Family Journals: Tens Ways to Improve Your Health and Relationships

By Ron Huxley, LMFT
http://www.parentingtoolbox.com

Journaling has long been a tool to achieving better emotional and
mental health. The need to express oneself in a safe and controlled
manner is a powerful means to improving self-esteem and personal
relationships. Parents can use this tool to increase their
effectiveness and satisfaction with family members. Here are ten ways
that a journal will help parents:

1. Tell your family story. What better way to immortalize your life
than to write about it in a journal? You can create a memoir of your
life growing up, describe the many branches on your family tree, or
just make a scrapbook of your life. Children can benefit by learning
their family history and discover whom they are in relation to past
generations. Parents will find clues to family dysfunction and
strengths by exploring their familial history.

2. Share yourself with family members. Most people keep their
journals private but choosing a sister or child to share a journal
with can close the gap on distant relationships or bring close one's
even closer. Swap separate journals for family members to read, keep
a family journal that is free for all to read and write, or create a
journal to express thoughts, feelings, and dreams with a particular
family member.

3. Organize yourself...emotionally and spiritually. Whenever I go to
the store, I make a list. If I don't I am sure to forget something.
Probably a few "something's". Writing things down helps me recall
what I need to buy. Journaling will help you remember the emotional
and spiritual items you need in your life. Some of this items you may
not have known you needed and others will be one's that you know you
need but haven't had the courage to go out there and get it.
Journaling is the first step in that spiritual grocery store
shopping.

4. Track your emotions, moods, and experiences over time. Monday was
a high-energy day. Tuesday, I felt depressed and lethargic.
Wednesday, I started to climb out of it. Thursday, I felt better but
had difficulty focusing. You get the picture, right? Journals will
help you map the highs and lows of your week, month, or year so that
you can plan your life accordingly. What mood ring can do that for
you?

5. Unburden yourself and let go of old hurts. You've carried that old
emotional baggage for how many years now? Isn't it time to let it go
and move forward feeling a little lighter on the emotional load. You
can let go of the hurts and fears you inherited from childhood that
have clung to you through adulthood and affected all of your
important relationships. Release them into a journal and really live
life to the fullest. Because you are anonymous, this is your
opportunity to say it all and unburden yourself so that you can have
freer, more productive relationships with your family instead of
venting it all at them.

6. Clarify and achieve your dreams, goals, and aspirations. Any
successful life planner, motivational speaker, or therapist will tell
you that in order to achieve a goal or dream you must write it down.
Journals are a great way to realizing that goal or dream. While the
path of life and relationships seems confusing and chaotic, a look
back, into your journal, will reveal some very clear patterns that
will help you in your future journeying.

7. Share your wisdom (life experiences) with others. I may not be an
expert on life but I have had my share of successes and failures. So
have you. Together we can learn and grow more than either of us could
have done alone. Use journals to write down your mistakes so your
children do not make the same one's or share a few tips about life
that you wish your parents had shared with you. It's not too late.

8. Glimpse the world through the eyes of another person. Journals
allow you to see life from the perspective of another's culture,
geography, beliefs, age, and gender. Take a trip around the world or
through time simply by reading a family journal. Ask family members
to describe you or your childhood. You may be surprise by what you
learn when others look at you and your life.

9. Challenge your beliefs and enrich your life. Master therapists
tell us that in order to change your life you must change your
thoughts or beliefs. Doing this on your own is difficult if not
impossible. Journals are a great way to analyze those thoughts that
get in the way of good mental health and better family relationships.

10. Realize you are not alone! Have you had a loved one pass away?
Suffered a divorce or financial loss? Had a prodigal child leave
home? Anyone who has suffered a loss or felt the weight of depression
knows how lonely that can be. It feels like no one could possibly
understand the pain you feel. Family Journals remind you know that
you are never alone and that hope is just one entry away!

Ron Huxley is the author of the book "Love & Limits: Achieving a
Balance in Parenting." Visit his website at
http://parentingtoolbox.com and get expert advice on anger
management, mental health, and parenting issues.





Ron Huxley is the author of the book "Love & Limits: Achieving a
Balance in Parenting." Visit his website at
http://parentingtoolbox.com and get expert advice on anger
management, mental health, and parenting issues.





Contact him at http://parentingtoolbox.com

 



©2005 - All Rights Reserved

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The Power of Love - Dating Smart
 by: Jill Dellamalva

You don’t need to depend on fate to bring “The One” to your doorstep. You might have to wait a very long time.

You don’t have to be the prettiest girl or the most handsome guy to be a successful dater. You don’t need a huge bank account. You don’t have to drive a new sports car, live in a large home, have the best sense of humor, or the most confidence. These things are all desirable; but chances are, they won’t keep the target of your affection around forever.

So what is it that you need to get and keep your love around? The answer is simple.

Power.

Many people looking for relationships are searching for someone to complete them, to fill in what is lacking in their own lives. A smart dater pays attention to detail, determines what it is that the other person is lacking, and ultimately provides it. A smart dater knows that when you are a source of something another person needs to be happy, you have power over them.

The first step to achieving power and becoming a smart dater is assessing the personality of the person you want to be with. You must zone in on the characteristic that defines the person most. Then, use your observations about their personality to determine what the person needs in his or her life to be happy. Finally, provide it.

Take, for example, the aggressive personality. If you’re in love with The Aggressor, you know that he or she isn’t a bit shy. The Aggressor knows what he or she is after, and thrives on the challenge of attaining it. Love with The Aggressor can be compared to a sport, and The Aggressor is looking to win. Like in any sport, an easy victory can be quite boring and quick. Your task is to give the Aggressor a challenge. Do not let your heart be an easy win. If you do, the Aggressor will simply move on to the next person. When the Aggressor leaves you a voice mail to call them back, forget to call. When the Aggressor asks you out for a date, once in a while tell them that you are too busy. Be moody, selfish, and difficult from time to time. Now, don’t be completely mean – remember, you must give kindness and affection to The Aggressor as much as you take it away. This will drive The Aggressor insane, and cause him or her to lose focus of the game. In no time, you’ll be holding the trophy.

Perhaps your love interest is not The Aggressor. Perhaps he or she is reserved and shy. This personality type tends to be innocent, and maybe lacking in solid relationship experience. You job, then, is to initiate The Quiet One into the realm of relationships and dating. Give The Quiet One something to get excited about. Shower The Quiet One with frivolous gifts and attention. Approach The Quiet One with zest, energy, and an ultra-positive attitude about life. Essentially, bring The Quiet One out of his or her shell, making them feel comfortable with you. In return, The Quiet One will become almost dependant on you for fun, activity, and love.

There are a myriad of personality types you will find out in the world. Another is The Snob. This person needs an average Joe or Jane to bring them down to earth. They won’t want to stoop to the level of giving you a second look – but be persistent. The Snob’s affection is earned. The more affection you give, the more flattered The Snob will become. This is because The Snob, by trait, likes to be given things. Instead of spoiling the Snob with things he or she already has, provide something unique. Cook The Snob romantic dinners at home, and skip the fancy restaurants. Pick the female Snob wildflowers instead of buying traditional roses. The Snob can then brag to other Snobs that he or she has someone “different” than everyone else. And as you know, Snobs always like to have what everyone else doesn’t.

There is also The Soap Opera Star. If you have the saintly qualities needed to love The Soap Opera Star, more power to you. This person eats, sleeps, and breathes drama. Take the normal ups and downs in life, and multiply them by 1000. Such is the life of The Soap Opera Star. The Soap Opera Star misplaces his golf club, and everything that happens from that point on in the day is absolutely ruined. Don’t be surprised if The Soap Opera Star takes his or her troubles out on you. If you desire to love this gem, patience, understanding (even if you must pretend) and the ability to console are qualities you have to put forth. The Soap Opera Star will end up completely in love with you. If you decide to leave The Soap Opera Star, he or she will stalk you.

Another popular personality is The Complainer. Everything annoys The Complainer. You can tell The Complainer that he or she looks nice today, and they will respond with a very serious, “Why do you have to lie to me? I gained 5 pounds in the last week, my pants look too short, and I’m having a bad hair day. I definitely know I can’t trust you to tell me the truth.” If you truly love The Complainer, you will never take their words to heart. You will also keep providing them with more topics to complain about, like a drug supply to an addict. Bring up topics that you know they love to moan about. They, in turn, will provide you with hours of one-on-one conversation. You’d better have a good ear to listen, and be able to support them in their outlandish claims. Don’t expect to do too much talking yourself. The Complainer will love you to death. Literally.

All in all, no matter what type of person you are trying to win over, you can do it with a little bit of common sense and consideration. Think your way through the situation. That’s all it takes. The power of love is in your hands.



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