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BROKEN TRUST!
by: Dorothy Lafrinere
BROKEN TRUST......ever been there?

BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?

BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?

BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?



If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!

I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.

Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.

Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?

In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.

Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.

No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!

Some hurts cannot be repaired, but at least they not need be endured alone!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

This article is free for republishing
Dorothy Lafrinere

Owner/Operator/writer

Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com

Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy

Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com

email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Hello my name is Dorothy and I thought you might like to know a bit about me! I was born and raised in Canada where I raised 4 great children and ran a business for 23 years. I recently moved to Florida to continue my life and enjoy the tropics. My experiences throughout my life have built my character and made me an independent women. My issues regarding self-esteem have directed me towards creating a wonderful website for all the women in the world! www.WomensSelfesteem.com My goal is to simply put a smile on your face, add a little sunshine to your day, and help you find the strength to deal with your fears and tackle your weaknesses, but most importantly to help you find the goodness that is inside of you, so that you can live a peaceful and happy life.

I have had many questions reguarding why my website is totally free. Well, it isn't actually really free. The payment that I ask for from my members and any women that frequent my site is that they feel better about themselves, and that they use some of that gained strength to help other women who also suffer from self esteem issues that women are faced with in daily life.

 



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The Power of Love - Dating Smart
 by: Jill Dellamalva

You don’t need to depend on fate to bring “The One” to your doorstep. You might have to wait a very long time.

You don’t have to be the prettiest girl or the most handsome guy to be a successful dater. You don’t need a huge bank account. You don’t have to drive a new sports car, live in a large home, have the best sense of humor, or the most confidence. These things are all desirable; but chances are, they won’t keep the target of your affection around forever.

So what is it that you need to get and keep your love around? The answer is simple.

Power.

Many people looking for relationships are searching for someone to complete them, to fill in what is lacking in their own lives. A smart dater pays attention to detail, determines what it is that the other person is lacking, and ultimately provides it. A smart dater knows that when you are a source of something another person needs to be happy, you have power over them.

The first step to achieving power and becoming a smart dater is assessing the personality of the person you want to be with. You must zone in on the characteristic that defines the person most. Then, use your observations about their personality to determine what the person needs in his or her life to be happy. Finally, provide it.

Take, for example, the aggressive personality. If you’re in love with The Aggressor, you know that he or she isn’t a bit shy. The Aggressor knows what he or she is after, and thrives on the challenge of attaining it. Love with The Aggressor can be compared to a sport, and The Aggressor is looking to win. Like in any sport, an easy victory can be quite boring and quick. Your task is to give the Aggressor a challenge. Do not let your heart be an easy win. If you do, the Aggressor will simply move on to the next person. When the Aggressor leaves you a voice mail to call them back, forget to call. When the Aggressor asks you out for a date, once in a while tell them that you are too busy. Be moody, selfish, and difficult from time to time. Now, don’t be completely mean – remember, you must give kindness and affection to The Aggressor as much as you take it away. This will drive The Aggressor insane, and cause him or her to lose focus of the game. In no time, you’ll be holding the trophy.

Perhaps your love interest is not The Aggressor. Perhaps he or she is reserved and shy. This personality type tends to be innocent, and maybe lacking in solid relationship experience. You job, then, is to initiate The Quiet One into the realm of relationships and dating. Give The Quiet One something to get excited about. Shower The Quiet One with frivolous gifts and attention. Approach The Quiet One with zest, energy, and an ultra-positive attitude about life. Essentially, bring The Quiet One out of his or her shell, making them feel comfortable with you. In return, The Quiet One will become almost dependant on you for fun, activity, and love.

There are a myriad of personality types you will find out in the world. Another is The Snob. This person needs an average Joe or Jane to bring them down to earth. They won’t want to stoop to the level of giving you a second look – but be persistent. The Snob’s affection is earned. The more affection you give, the more flattered The Snob will become. This is because The Snob, by trait, likes to be given things. Instead of spoiling the Snob with things he or she already has, provide something unique. Cook The Snob romantic dinners at home, and skip the fancy restaurants. Pick the female Snob wildflowers instead of buying traditional roses. The Snob can then brag to other Snobs that he or she has someone “different” than everyone else. And as you know, Snobs always like to have what everyone else doesn’t.

There is also The Soap Opera Star. If you have the saintly qualities needed to love The Soap Opera Star, more power to you. This person eats, sleeps, and breathes drama. Take the normal ups and downs in life, and multiply them by 1000. Such is the life of The Soap Opera Star. The Soap Opera Star misplaces his golf club, and everything that happens from that point on in the day is absolutely ruined. Don’t be surprised if The Soap Opera Star takes his or her troubles out on you. If you desire to love this gem, patience, understanding (even if you must pretend) and the ability to console are qualities you have to put forth. The Soap Opera Star will end up completely in love with you. If you decide to leave The Soap Opera Star, he or she will stalk you.

Another popular personality is The Complainer. Everything annoys The Complainer. You can tell The Complainer that he or she looks nice today, and they will respond with a very serious, “Why do you have to lie to me? I gained 5 pounds in the last week, my pants look too short, and I’m having a bad hair day. I definitely know I can’t trust you to tell me the truth.” If you truly love The Complainer, you will never take their words to heart. You will also keep providing them with more topics to complain about, like a drug supply to an addict. Bring up topics that you know they love to moan about. They, in turn, will provide you with hours of one-on-one conversation. You’d better have a good ear to listen, and be able to support them in their outlandish claims. Don’t expect to do too much talking yourself. The Complainer will love you to death. Literally.

All in all, no matter what type of person you are trying to win over, you can do it with a little bit of common sense and consideration. Think your way through the situation. That’s all it takes. The power of love is in your hands.



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