The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it’s all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience. To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com info@everydaybetterliving.com
Lingerie Makes Great Gift
for Him and Her
by: Jim Jin
It is cliché to say that lingerie is the gift that “gives to him and
her”, or is “the gift that gives back” because clearly the man does not
lose when he gives lingerie out as a present. The only time the plan
backfires is when he gets something in the wrong style—or much worse—the
wrong size. But when the man puts some time and consideration into the
purchase of some lingerie, he and the receiver are rewarded which is why
it makes a great gift.
Too often men find themselves tempted to buy whatever they happen to
find attractive or sexy. These same men are then surprised later on when
their girlfriend or wife is utterly repulsed by the lingerie and refuses
to wear the garment. It takes a special kind of woman to tolerate a thong
but men continue to thrust their desires into lingerie purchasing
decisions that utterly conflict with the desires and tastes of the
partner. Thong sales only account for 23% of all lingerie purchases which
is why odds are that a woman probably will not appreciate a thong as much
as the man giving it.
In order to make a lingerie gift successful, the man must do his
homework. What about her body is she most proud of? Whatever part of the
body this happens to be, make sure to buy lingerie that accentuates this.
For a woman who is particularly proud of her cleavage, a halter might be
the way to go but a chemise would probably be best for someone with nice
legs. No matter what part of the body she happens to be most comfortable
with, there is definitely a piece of lingerie out there made to complement
it.
The color of the lingerie is very important to consider as well. When
deciding upon color, you have to take into account the partner’s hair.
Blondes tend to do best with lighter colors or even pastels. Brunettes
need a color that accentuates their darker hues so purples or even dark
greens and reds work well for women with this color of hair. Redheads need
a dark color but it must be complementary which is why greens and blues
work best.
Now lingerie need not only look great—it must feel even better!
Basically, if you enjoy touching it, she should enjoy wearing it. Silks
and satins are always great choices as they are always smooth to the touch
and feel great on her as well. For men or women shopping online, only buy
fabrics that you are personally familiar with so you know what to expect.
The right style, color, and fabric will not make the slightest
difference in the world if you get the wrong size. Too many sad jokes are
made about men trying to size up their partner’s cup size by using their
hands to cup imaginary breasts. Anyone shopping (either online or at a
retailer) should know the sizes of the garments they are after before ever
looking at styles and colors. If it is possible, ask. If not, you will
have to play detective and sneak a peak at her unmentionables while she is
in the shower or something. No matter how you do it, just make sure you
get those sizes or it may come back to haunt you.
Lingerie can definitely be one of the most intimate and rewarding gifts
a person can give or receive. When the desires, size, body, and tastes of
the receiver are taken into consideration when making a purchase, lingerie
can be rewarding to the buyer in ways no other gift possibly can. But,
when a person buys something that they will like without being considerate
of the person they are expecting to wear the item, a lingerie purchase can
backfire. Lingerie should be a gift that a person remembers fondly so be
sure to think of how she would feel wearing the item before buying and you
are sure to have many happy returns!
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