A Bird's Eye View of THE ENCHANTED SELF and what it means to YOU! - Part 1
by:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
The Rebbe Nachman of Breslow often said, “Always remember-Joy is not merely incidental to your spiritual quest. It is vital.”
As the years have gone by and I’ve been in the practice of psychology over 20 years, I have become more and more convinced that he was so right, that joy is not an option. When we take away joy and we take away a sense of well-being, a sense that we are thriving, we allow ourselves or seem to find ourselves in circumstances that seem to drain, tire and weaken us. We are no longer the whole human being that is our birthright!
THE ENCHANTED SELF is a positive psychology approach to mental health that works both in the treatment room and out. I teach people the techniques they need to start to think in positive ways about themselves and their world. Thus I teach them how to see what is right about themselves, rather than what is wrong. I also teach them to appreciate their own life story, its ups and downs; the roller coaster ride that we all go on. I teach how to value our potential even if in childhood we were put down or criticized, as so many of us are.
I have the belief and I teach the belief that inside of each of us we know when we are on track and we know when we are living a wholesome life that fits with the integrity of our particular spirit. I call this sense of well-being ”The Enchanted Self” and I teach people how to find their "Enchanted Selves" again and again-how to recognize and celebrate the states of well-being that signify they are in touch with the best of themselves. I stress the positive benefit of recalling memories about one's life in a fashion that permits us to discover and rediscover our own talents and resources. I also emphasize how to find in our past the kernals of pleasure, and reservoirs of strength, that we can come home to again and again, even if we need to reshape these facets of ourselves to suite new circumstances Basically, this learning involves listening to yourself, and reviewing your own past to see what worked for you, what really gave you pleasure. What aspects of yourself and your life can you identify as necessary to experience a state of well-being? What do you need to feel whole? For example, if you loved to play the piano as a child, then you may not really enjoy watching football games as an adult. You may much more enjoy listening to classical music. However, in order to live a full life, you may also enjoy football games because your son loves them or your husband loves them. Thus there is also an accommodation to someone you care about and a resulting interest develops.
I think you can begin to see that what is going to work for each person is so unique to that individual! It involves a review of our history, and it involves analyzing the circumstances currently in our lives. If we have a handicap we may not be able to become a ballerina. Even if we have severe arthritis, we may not be able to become a ballerina at forty. However, the love of dance since childhood may easily be converted into wonderful yoga stretches that help arthritis and feel 'dancy'. So often, there is a creative turn in the road, thinking out of the box, that the Enchanted Self person develops. You find you have become an ENCHANTED SELF when you havethe courage to put together using your mind, heart, body and spirit new inventive ways of bringing pleasure and meaning into your life.
The steps I teach people are rigorous but they are no harder then all the habits we learn that keep us in bad moods and keep us depressed. For example, if I teach someone how to review at the end of the day everything that has gone right in their day, that it is no harder than listing what went wrong. In fact it soon becomes easier than listing everything that went wrong. The reason it becomes easier is that you don’t build up some of the rage and some of the anger that one can build up when we review the problems in our lives. Now we are encouraged rather than discouraged and even may end up sleeping better and feeling better leading to much less energy drain.
In next part we talk about how to come home to and release your ENCHANTED SELF. Meanwhile, why not try reviewing your day in terms of what went right, rather than what went wrong! Let me know how it goes.
About the author:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.comGet a copy of a bi-weekly The enchanted Self newsletter at http://www.enchantedself.com/elettersignup.htm.Order her books, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, and now her new book, There Comes a Time in Every Women's Life for DELIGHT! at http://www.enchantedself.com/catalog
Hair Accessories: When
And How To Use Them
by: Jenny Andrews B
In the 80s, the hair accessory was invaluable. Almost every style
involved some sort of accessory or embellishment to really set it off.
Today, hair accessories not a part of everyday style and care should be
taken as to when and how to use them so that you will not look dated.
With that said, there are some occasions that scream for accessories:
Work, social occasions and formal events may all have you searching for
the perfect accessory to set off your look. While different occasions will
call for different hair accessories, a good rule of thumb to follow is to
choose the sedate accessory over one that could not go unnoticed in a
crowd of a few hundred or a few thousand.
While choosing the right one can be tricky, there are a few pointers
that you can follow to help you pick the perfect hair accessories to
complete your look. Here are just a few:
· Work. In many work situations, you will likely have to wear your hair
up. No matter if your type of employment requires it or you simply like to
change your look now and then, wearing your hair up calls for the right
accessory to do the job. The number one rule to finding the right
embellishments for work is to avoid banana clips at all costs. I mean, who
still makes these things? Apparently they’re making money at it or they
wouldn’t still be producing these torture devices of the 80s. Don’t
further their cause: stop buying this accessory. The second rule is to
choose accessories that closely match your hair color or that blend nicely
with it. Matching a hair clip to your clothes is only cute when you are
5-years-old. What you choose will depend largely on your length of hair
and how you like to wear your hair up. For French twists, choose hair
accessories that resemble over-sized hair clips. Simply twist and clip.
· Social and formal occasions. In social and formal occasions you have
a greater opportunity to express your artsy side through accessories.
Again choose sedate pieces over garish eye catchers. Classy pieces can be
perfect for social occasions, whereas a little sprig of flowers or
garnishment may be needed for formal occasions. Formal occasions are the
only time that is okay to match your accessory to your clothing. But
still, do not go overboard. What attracts the eye should be the beauty of
your hair, not too-busy additions to it. If in doubt about what accessory
or how much of it to include, opt for the simple solution: use as little
as possible.
The bottom line with hair accessories is that too much of a good thing
can confuse the eye and make your do look garish. Simple hair accessories,
on the other hand, can make a bold beauty statement that makes your hair
the talk of the office or party.
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