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The Vanishing Mail
by: Elaine Currie


Am I Just Being Paranoid Or Are The Robots Out To Get Me?


It all started in the early part of the twenty-first century.

In the early days of email we were thrilled with its speed and reliability, far superior to "snail mail" but there's always somebody who has to go and spoil things for everyone else. In the case of email it was the purveyors of the namesake of a certain pork-based substance. They became such a nuisance that large teams of robots had to be employed to keep them under control.

As the porkers got smarter, the robots had to become smarter still. At first, everybody agreed that stringent measures must be taken to defeat the porkers. Ever hear the phrase "throwing the baby out with the bath water" or "the cure is worse than the disease"?

The number of spam merchants multiplied over and over. Eventually, the only way of controlling them was for every email user to have his or her own robot to filter their mail. I did not want a robot filtering my mail but I didn't have much choice: nobody was allowed an email account without a robot to monitor its use.

Every time I log into my email, I pause and listen for the faint metallic scraping and a slight pneumatic wheeze as the robot wakes and prepares to filter my mail. No matter how quiet I am, he always knows and is instantly awake and alert, ready to do his job. I did not request robotic help, don't want it, don't need it but the robot is here to stay.

I think my robot is like the paranoid android in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: slow moving and depressive, so I call him Marvin (not to his face, of course). I don't suppose my Marvin feels that censoring my mail is a suitable occupation for a robot of his caliber, any more that his namesake thought attending the car park at the end of the universe was a great career for a robot with a brain the size of a planet. On my part, I am sure that I am old enough to take full responsibility for my own correspondence. There is no need for Marvin to wear out his circuits on my account but it appears that we are stuck with each other for the duration.

The extent of Marvin's power first caught my attention when a regular newsletter which I enjoyed failed to arrive. Delivery just stopped altogether.

I asked my email provider if there was a problem with this particular mail and they said there was nothing wrong with my mailbox, it must be a problem with the sender. I asked the sender why delivery had stopped and they said it hadn't, it must be a problem with my mailbox. I gave up and just resubscribed myself to the newsletter. Every time delivery stopped after that I wondered what else I might be missing in the way of interesting mail.

It was shortly after this that it became apparent to me that Marvin has a bad attitude. Now I can sympathise with him because I know how it feels to be stuck in a boring job while the brain cells shrivel. That doesn't mean I think he should behave badly, he should do the job to the best of his ability (even if it is beneath him) and not make mischief.

Everyone seems to believe that the robots keep changing the rules in an effort to keep ahead of the porkers but I don't believe that. I think they keep changing the rules mostly out of boredom but, in Marvin's case, I sense a certain underlying malevolence. This surfaced recently when I sent an email to a friend I had not heard from for a while. My mail bounced back with a message to the effect that spam would not be delivered. How dare they, Spam indeed! From that day on, every mail I tried to send bounced straight back at me.

Angrily, I contacted the email company support desk to complain. They helpfully told me that this problem was nothing to do with them, I must have used forbidden words in my emails and that was why they bounced. The forbidden words included "friend", "free", "you", "internet", "remove". The list of forbidden words is long and growing longer by the day, it is difficult to make up proper sentences without using the forbidden words, soon our only way of emailing will be by inventing a new language.

My problem now is that I cannot get email through to my friends and they cannot get email to me. Too late I realised that we neglected to exchange phone numbers: there seemed no point when email was so quick and easy. Now I can't send email, can't receive email, the robot has isolated me.

Only one way left to break out of quarantine and it's a long time since I sat with pen and paper to write letters. I won't use the word processor as I am convinced Marvin will recognise it as a means of communication but I don't think he will know what the pen is for and I doubt he'll be suspicious if I take some envelopes with me next time I go out. A glorified email filter is hardly likely to know the purpose of a mailbox which is not of the virtual variety.

I hear Marvin stir even though I have not switched on my computer, he seems to have the ability to read my mind. There is a faint clanking sound, the smell of ozone, an electrical crackle in the air. His hand on my shoulder is heavy and cold, the steel joints creak as his fingers tighten. I don't think I will be going out to post any letters.

This is one of a series of articles
published by the author, Elaine Currie, BA(Hons)
at http://www.Hunting Venus.com
The author’s monthly newsletter is available free
from mailto:networkerhvm@ReportsNetwork.com




About the author:
Elaine Currie, BA (Hons), is a writer and internet marketer. She came to the internet after a 25 year career at a London law firm, seeking a new career path. Knowing only that she wanted the opportunity to spend more time writing and to be her own boss, Elaine discovered the concept of the "pluginprofitsite" (details can be seen at http://www.huntingvenus.com/pips.htmland at Elaine‘s website http://www.huntingvenus.com)



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Tips to Build Your Email Address Database

WHY BUILD YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS DATABASE?

Gaining your customers' email addresses will:

  • Provide an additional channel for reaching your customers
  • Increase the ROI of your marketing investments
  • Significantly reduce your customer acquisition and marketing costs
  • Allow you to easily measure the impact of your marketing campaigns
  • Increase your customer participation and retention rates

With ongoing postal and telemarketing pressures impacting marketing budgets for many organizations this year, email marketing could become the "silver lining " for many marketers.   But how do you create a successful email marketing campaign if you do not have a substantial email database?  That question may be one of the largest Internet related challenges facing companies this year.

Research shows that the majority of organizations have email addresses for less than 10% of their postal files.  So how do you level the playing field and start to add quality permission - based email addresses to your database?

Here are some tips that you can use to cost effectively build your email address database and increase your customer participation and retention rates: 


START TO ASK FOR IT!  

Every communication or touch point with a customer should start or end with a request for an email address.   By utilizing the four points below, you should be able to add email addresses for 5% to 10% of your postal file over the course of one year.

1.  Direct Mail Collection

Think about how much time and money you spent for copy and design on your last new direct mail piece.  Most companies have started to ask their customers for their email address information within these mailings.  This is a great step forward. However, companies need to look at one major improvement if they want to increase their email address collection rates. 

To date, most requests for email address information have been pushed, shoved or jammed into whatever white space remains.  It should be no surprise that the success rate has been less than stellar.

To improve on these efforts, you need to provide your members with a reason to release their email addresses to you.  E-newsletters, purchase confirmations, petitions, and special discounts and offers are but a few of the benefits that will encourage your members to come on board.

2.  Web Page Collection

Many companies have an email address collection function in place via the web.  To improve your sign-up rates, add text below the email request box that informs your visitors of the special email benefits that they will receive (i.e. e-newsletters, purchase confirmations, delivery updates, etc.) upon registering.  You can also utilize a pop-up link to inform users of these special benefits.

Finally, your email address request function should be available on your home page. Don't make your users go and look for it.  Every click away from your home page reduces the chances of your users taking an action and providing you with their email address information.

3.  Existing Email Database Collection

Don't forget to ask the members of your existing customer base for email addresses of their friends, family and associates.  Viral marketing is a powerful tool to use and is extremely cost effective!  You could ask them either to provide you with additional addresses or simply to pass on your newsletter, email specific offers, or other information to others they feel have similar interests.

4.  Telemarketing Collection

Don't assume that your telemarketing agents are asking for email addresses from potential customers.  Ensure that your agents have an updated script, which outlines the previously described benefits to potential customers of providing their email addresses.

The suggestions above are a great start!  Yet they really should be viewed as a secondary plan for building your email database.  To exponentially and expeditiously grow your email database, please read on!


EMAIL APPENDING  

Utilizing an email appending service enables you to add email addresses for up to 25% of your postal file, all within 3-4 weeks.

Email Appending - is the process of adding an individual's email address to that individual's postal record in side your existing database.  This is accomplished by matching the postal database against a third party, permission based database of postal and email address information.

Best Practices - Email Appending is not a prospecting tool. The DMA (Direct Marketing Association) and its interactive arm AIM (Association of Interactive Marketing) have guidelines in place that dictate that email appending only be used to append email addresses to your existing opt-in postal record house file.

The Process - Your opt-in postal file is securely transferred to an email appending provider, who will do an initial gross email address match of your file against its opt-in database of postal and email address records.  Your appending provider will then send these matches a permission-based message prepared by you.  All bounces and opt-out requests will be removed from the list.  At that point a valid permission-based email address file of your customers will be delivered back to you. 

Cost - Less than the price of a postal stamp!


IN SUMMARY

The first step of any successful email marketing effort is to build a permission-based email address list of your customers.  The simplest, quickest and most cost-effective way to do this is through email appending, which will enable you to add email addresses for up to 25% of your postal file.  Secondary efforts of email address collection via focused direct mail, web, viral and telemarketing practices are also important and will enable you to add email addresses for an additional 5% to 10% of your base on an annual basis.

Best of luck in building your email address database.  As many companies have already learned, the ROI and cost savings to be achieved will far exceed your expectations.

Bill Kaplan
CEO
FreshAddress, Inc.

FreshAddress, Inc., The Email Address ExpertsTM, provides a comprehensive suite of industry leading database and email deliverability services to help companies increase their e-commerce revenues.  For more information on how we can help "Build and Update" your email list, visit http://freshaddress.com/biz or email biz@freshaddress.com.



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